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The Holy Religion of Canalism

Canalism is a religion that worships the canal god, κανάλι, who takes form in all water and lava, though is most present in traditional canals.

List of Popes

January 26 2018 - April 13th 2018, Pope DankMemesTopKek

April 13th 2018 - Present, Pope Gantoe_

Holy Objects

The Holy Sword of κανάλι

a holy object, a sword with the essence of κανάλι himself. Whoever finds the sword is the κανάλι Βασιλιάς, or Kavahl Vasiliás, or Canal King. Thou who is the canal king is destined to bring upon a new era for holy canalism, where the religion will truly thrive, and the canal king will do great things. He who is the Kavahl Vasilias will be given grand gifts for all his life, and be treated well by the papacy and all canalists.

κανάλι left us one clue to it's location, in the form of a riddle.

In the pillars of hell, where demons dwell, near the eye of κανάλι

Where opposite sides meet at the new millenium

Is a holy light, there is the sword of κανάλι

At the bottom of the ocean.

  • Current Owner: None
  • Current Location: Somewhere in the ocean

The Pope's Hat

a Holy Hat, it signifies that one is truly holy, and a pope of the papacy.

  • Current Owner: Pope Gantoe
  • Current Location: MTA



Canalism was founded in late january by Pope Dankmemestopkek. At first, it was not a public religion, but a secret cult with a cult room in the Mount Augusta rails. It had several different religious trials and practices, such as the Trial of the Holy Hall, in which a cult member would have to jump across fences in a mini-canal in order to gain the right to read the holy books, and Divine Rest, in which someone would lay in water for 3 seconds and come back up, in order to become closer with the canal, the deeper the hole, the closer you got. The Holy books were seperated into two different books, totaling 35 pages. A few of the pages were translated into greek to hide the fact they were about human sacrifice, which was removed in The First Reformation. At it's peak, The Cultists of the Canal had 11 members, notable members being Cult Leader Dank, Cult Co-Leader Chaos Canadian, and Cult Captain Gantoe.

The First Reformation

On February 4th, the Canalist religion was reformed. A new holy book was made, combining the two books into a single one, shortening it to 26 pages, and making it more applicable outside of MTA. The religion was also Publicly Announced to the world. The First Reformation holy book was mass-produced, with over 150 copies in the world, and is the current holy book. At it's peak, 1st Reformation Canalism had 26-29 estimated believers. The new holy books also added Holy Sites and Holy Days

Nipplerock Canalism Schism and Fixation

On February 14th, Gantoe, a trusted and devoted member of Canalism, was advocating holy war again all non-believers and announced his schismatic Nipplerock Canalism. Pope Dankmemestopkek tried to reason with him, But gantoe would not listen. He blew up the old cult room, and threatened to blow up Trevie as well. Eventually Gantoe was calmed down by Dankmemestopkek, and signed an agreement to combine with Orthodox Canalism, and repented his sins in Divine Rest.

The Second Reformation

On February 18th, the religion was reformed again. Pope Dank created a Canalism group to record the members, and made a rank system. Mods in the group were Priests, admins Archbishops, owners Cardinals, and the primary owner is the Pope. Currently, there are 62 recorded believers (excluding alts), 66 including alts. You can also buy holy books in the Yoahtl Bookstores, and get one for free from the Pope himself, if you go to MTA.

Lifting of Canalism ban in Lëtzebuerg

On March 18th, the previous ban of the Canalist religion in Lëtzebuerg was lifted, after dicussion between the Pope and Margrave of Lëtzebuerg shadedoom

The 2nd Pope

On April, Friday the 13th, Pope Dankmemestopkek stood down and gave Archbishop Gantoe_ the Papacy.

Other Events

  • A couple of conflicts between the Blood Pagans and Canalists
  • Building of the first canalist church
  • Yoahtl and Southshire conversion missions
  • Bombing of the canalist church (by a creeper)
  • Excommunication of Romec
  • Lifting of Romec's Excommunication

Direct Influences

  • The Jevoghnya Canals were directly inspired by influential canalists early in Jevoghnyev history and politics, with further blending with the old animistic river based faiths of the natives of the region.


62 Recorded Believers

Although the majority of MTA is canalist, there are still some who belong to other religions, such as Jumpism, Daoism, Blood Paganism, the Possum Cult, Cult of the Supreme Being, and the Cult of the All-Father.

Believers are mostly in Mount Augusta, Tierra de Conciencia, and Southshire, and a portion in Yoahtl, and others in the HJE, Oistins, and other nations

Holy Days


  • February 10th
  • March 2nd
  • November 15th


  • July 3rd
  • October 5th

Holy Sites


  • Mount Augusta Canal
  • Yoahtl Trench Canal


  • Southshire Canal
  • Westminster Canals
  • Okashima Canal


if the Pope were to quit or be pearled:

Pope Gantoe --> Cardinal Godomasta --> Archbishop Scramble --> Archbishop Cinzar --> Archbishop Gobblin --> Archbishop GameOfLife --> Archbishop Charlememe --> Archbishop Citylion --> Archbishop Milesdust