Civcraft2Import:Groups/religions/catpeterism

Catpeterism

Creation

Catpeterism is based off of a meme involving the following (NSFW)[Trigger Warning] image http://imgur.com/o70jOWR (/NSFW)[/Trigger Warning], which depicts a feline phallus being held by tongs. The founder of the religion, Catpeter himself, came into the world to spread the image and the wisdom it contained. Unfortunately, there were some who did not wish to be enlightened, and Catpeter was imprisoned within the strongest and most imprenetrable Vault the world had to offer: Clone's Heart. However, Catpeter performed his first miracle when, after a month of imprisonment, he freed himself and revealed himself to his people. His prophetic return and wisdom caused an immediate following to begin, with most Chanadians worshiping the Holy Kitty Dick.

Tenants

Catpeterists believe in world peace and the freedom of spreading religion; to achieve this goal Catpeter preaches and undying war of protest against the non-believes, with regular marches to be held, and excommunicated people to be egged on sight. The Catpeterist faith follows a strict hierarchy with the Lord and Savior at the top, followed by his Tongs, and then by general followers. Each member of the Catpeterist faith is to listen to those with more PeterPoints than themselves, with the minimum PeterPoint level for Tongs being 500. Catpeterist holy sites include http://www.catpeter.com/, Catpetersburg, Catestein-just outside of Tel Aviv-(NSFW)[Trigger Warning] the holy skin at , and the formentioned http://imgur.com/o70jOWR(/NSFW)%5B/Trigger Warning].

The Million Peter March

Following the unjust death of immelol4 by the Jewish Governor of Tel Aviv Olivay, Catpeter announced a peaceful protest against the governor and his town. Upon arriving in the town, the protesters were greeted by a lone guard in full combat gear, and despite the protester's memes of peace, went to work slaughtering the innocent pilgrims where they stood. It was during this time that one protester took advantage of the chaos to start lighting fires throughout the city as a retaliation. After holding the pearls of the protesters, the lone guard had a change of heart, he realized he had been too harsh and let the protesters go, but it did not stop there. Another protester placed a lava bucket, damaging a fountain, and thus the guard went back to his bloody business, only to be interrupted by Reiko_Mikami, who fled courageously from the scene. While the guard was chasing Reiko, Catpeter directed his remaining pilgrims to hastily construct Catpeterstein outside of Tel Aviv's borders. By this point soldiers from neighboring town began to show up and joined in on the slaughter of the protesters, burning down the holy dirt city. By then end of the night, a total of four protester remained pearled, including the Prophet himself. Undeterred, more pilgrims arrived to rebuild the city, and the Governor of Tel Aviv gained wisdom and decided to allow the settlement to exist. The march consisted of the following peters: Catpeter, o70jOWR, Spazzy_Genius, Maravone, KyleKoala, NiggerFaggot, WojtekPaint, samurai712, Tibbert, Reiko_Mikami, and Sgt_Munter.

The War of Christian Aggression

Once again the citizens of Catpeterstein were under attack, but this time from within. A large number of Christian Channers went on a pilgrimage to the sacred holy place, but upon their arrival, forcibly converted and griefed the city, despite outcries from the inhabitants. In a fit of Holy Rage, Catpeter went to the city of Wolfkhaine, the home of the Christians, and destroyed their unholy highway, pearling a local in the process. Catpeter's actions, along with those of Immelol (Tong and member of the HKE, secretly added several Chanadian states into the HKE without permission) sparked an outrage that ignited the conflict. Sources indicate that the conflict was short, as the secular actions of Catpeter and his tongs dissuaded many followers and few came to his banner. Following the war Catpeterism was outlawed in the Chan States of Wolfkhaine and Spainland, and to this day, open followers are pearled on sight in these cities.

The CLA Conflict

• Background

Occurring shortly after rick1011 the king of Spainland during that time, outlawed Catpeterism a Spainlander posted the following message in the /civ/; "We will not let rick lead mobs to burn down our houses/churches any more. We will not let rick bend over to the will of the northern neighbors, he abandoned has people just so he can be in good terms with his religion. I call in to all catpeterists to join our cause to defend our faith. I call in all true spainland patriots to join our cause to keep out foreign soldiers from policing us. While he drafts us to fight in lands we don't know. Today I will declare the CLA catpeter liberation army. We open our ranks to any chanadian who wants to defend their heritage. Rick this is a message to you: legalize catpeter, or we will March on newmadrid through the 4th of July weekend, the choice is yours. From now on the people will rule and the government will Listen." Quickly skirmishes ensued throughout Spainland, Las Colonias Province was were the worst fighting happened which included both sides laying down booby traps and the occasional Insurgent attacking government patrols.

• Foreign Volunteers Controversy

Desperate for boots on the grounds the Spainland Government hired Volunteers mostly from /K/ompound and Wulfkhaine. Throughout the conflict Spainland recieved pressure from other Chadian nations to disbanded the Christian Units operating in the conlfict. Finally after giving in to the demand Rick1011 ordered all Wulfkhaine soldiers to be discharged from duty.

 * End of the War

Rick1011, with a polynesian volunteer was ambushed in Newmadrid by Camokool the only known polynesian CLA member, while he was pearled rick1011 brokered peace with the CLA thus allowing Catpeterism to be practiced, once again. Though this freedom was once again removed after the Catpeter Scandal which involved the illegal annexation of Chan lands.